Muffler

The sun poured through the open window, spilt onto the classroom floor and cast a golden glow on the graffiti-ridden desks. It was somehow in harmony with the smell of crayons and old orange peel that filled the room. All the kids were in a mesmeric daze. Almost all. Ben had been sitting at the back with his with his hand in the air for what felt like an eternity. It seemed he had something very important to say. The teacher, Mr Blacker, or 'Muffler' as his pupils referred to him, due to the way he waffled through his beard, hunched his back to the class as he scribbled something on the blackboard.

The field outside was being cut by a large lawnmower. When it passed by it was so noisy that it shook the panes in the open windows.

Mr Blacker turned around and finally noticed Ben with his hand up. "Yes, Ben?"

"Please can I go to the toilet?"

Everyone laughed. Everyone except Mr Blacker. Mr Blacker hated laughter. He looked furious. His little bluebottle eyes in stark contrast to his bright, red face. He looked like he was going to burst.

With all the restraint he could muster he spoke. "I thought you were going to answer my question. Perhaps you could try before I let you go."

Ben hadn't heard Muffler's question over the din of the mower and his more personal distraction, but there was no time to explain all this. He decided to take a wild guess.

In a little voice he chanced "I think the answer is Seventy Three.".

The whole class roared with laughter.

"SILENCE" Mr Blacker barked. "For the last hour we have been studying the English language not Mathematics. For your particularly stupid answer I'm going to give you triple homework. If anyone else so much as titters, they too will suffer the same fate."

The class fell into terrified hush.

Mr Blacker let Ben go.

With the school day over, Ben wondered slowly home, his head heavy with thoughts and his schoolbag filled with extra homework. Ben usually loved coming home. The smells of cooking, the big, old rooms, even seeing his dad's old boots by the back door made him happy. And mum, reassuring mum with her contented songs as she carefully got everything done. He got to the front door and sat on the steps between the plant pots. "Come on darling, it can't be that bad?" Ben's mum was leaning out of the window with a glass of juice for him. "I just got triple homework to be done for tomorrow." Ben's mum frowned. "Oh dear. You'd better come in and have your dinner early tonight to give you time."

After he did all his homework he felt exhausted. He could barely brush his teeth. He went to bed and as soon as he closed his eyes he was asleep.

In the middle of the night Ben woke up. His mouth was dry and he wanted a drink. He dropped out of bed, still half-dreaming and walked to the stairs. Then the strangest thing happened. He had stepped off the top step and walked into the air. He hadn't gone down. He had actually walked into the air. He appeared to be floating. He got scared and jumped back onto the top stair. Then he tried to walk down the stairs again, but he couldn't. He just walked in a straight line into the air. "Weird" he thought, and stood for a while, floating. "But I want to go downstairs" he said to himself, and immediately, as if he was on an escalator he glided smoothly down to the kitchen. "What's going on?" he asked, but no one was there to answer. "I want a glass of milk." He said, and here came towards him a glass of milk. "What is this? What's happening?" He thought, but he tasted the milk. It tasted good, like milk should taste. OK, he decided, if this is the way it is, I'm going to have some fun.

"I want to go outside." The door opened and he flew into the street. He realised then that he was still in his pyjamas, but it was a warm night and no one was about. "I want to go to school." As soon as he had said it he wondered why he had, but it was too late to change his mind and off he floated down the leafy streets, up over the houses and across two fields. There it was. School. All locked up and nobody about. Then Ben had an idea.

"I want to go to my classroom." A window slowly opened and he flew inside. "Right, now to set the record straight." he said to himself, but things were already happening as quickly as he could think them. The chalk was writing on the blackboard. An old, brown banana flew past him and into the shadows and then an envelope slipped through the window and landed on the teachers desk.

"I'm tired now, I want to go back to bed." Yawned Ben and instantly he was gliding back to his house and his warm duvet.

In the morning Ben felt very refreshed and full of energy. He bounced down stairs, and kissed mum and dad good morning. "Hello soldier!" Said dad. "Good morning darling." said mum. Everything seemed so normal, Ben wasn't floating around, nothing unusual was going on and he decided that last night must have been an extraordinary dream. After getting ready and putting all his homework in his bag he went off to school, walking down the streets and over the fields.

As soon as he entered his classroom he realised something odd was going on. All the kids were looking at the blackboard and laughing. Somebody had written in large writing "MUFFLER IS A NAUGHTY BOY!". Then Mr Blacker walked in.

"What's all this? Sit down at your desks this instant." And he went to the blackboard. "What is the meaning of this? Who wrote this here?" But no one answered, they all looked around, wondering who it could have been. Mr Blacker wiped the board clean and announced. "When I find out who did this they will be punished severely." Then he went to his desk and saw an envelope sitting there with his name on it. He opened it. Inside was one of his old school reports. On it was written "Timmy Blacker has a long way to go. He is always dreaming in class and still can't count up to 20."

Muffler had tears in his eyes. Someone had discovered his terrible secret. He was never very good at school. He slumped down in his chair and there was a horrible squelching sound. He jumped up as if he had just sat on a needle and there dripping off his behind was a squashed, rotten, brown banana.

Muffler ran out of the classroom screaming. And soon the headmaster came in. He said that Mr Blacker wouldn't be back for a while, perhaps a long while. The class would have to take the day off whilst they found a replacement.

The whole class cheered and ran out out into the sunshine.

The silly man

I walk around the room in glasses,
But they don't help me see.
For they are made of cloth and string.
And slip off easily.

The old man and the magic bird

In a small town just like yours there is a nice old man. He has no friends or family for one reason or another. Every morning he leaves his window open in his bright and airy dining room and every morning the same beautiful bird flies into his room and perches on his chair. 'Good Morning' it sings. Every evening at dusk the bird sings 'Good night' and flies off into the night. This special relationship gives the old man true joy.

One day the old man pops out of his house to get some more birdseed whilst the bird stays inside the house. It just happens that a thief sees the open window and decides to take a chance. Once in the house he realises that the old man doesn't have anything of value, in fact he doesn't have much of anything at all. Then he sees the bird. It's beautiful - the most beautiful creature he's ever seen with such fine colours. He catches it and puts it in his bag. He's very pleased with himself as he climbs back out of the window, thinking "My mum's going to be so pleased with me when I give this to her."

When the thief gets back to his dark, small flat his old mother is waiting for him, stirring a pot of watery soup on the cooker. Tapping her fingers and looking at her watch... "Well, what have you got for me then?" she says. He's so excited as he opens his bag, but when he picks up the bird he realises it's dead. Its colours have faded and when he presents it to her she's very upset. "What is that stupid animal? Where's the jewellery you promised? I would have been happy with some nice, not very used perfume..." and crying and screaming she throws the bird out onto the street.

The old man realises that something very bad has happened when he gets back home. The bird has gone and there are muddy footprints by the window. He can't stay in the house so he goes out to calm down and perhaps look for more clues. It's starting to get dark when he finds the little birds body in the road. He picks it up and cries. Tears fall down his cheeks and one lands on the bird. At once the bird transforms into a bright light and shoots off into the sky and is gone.

A few days later, the old man wakes up and opens his window (out of habit). As he turns he hears a flutter. Then a little voice says "Good morning" He can't believe it. He stands rooted to the spot, completely astonished. Before he can take a breath. Another bird, identical to this flies into his room and sings good morning, then another, and another until he has so many beautiful birds in his room he can no longer count them. He opens the packet of birdseed he bought the other day and he smiles the biggest smile an old man could.

You're prettier with a membrane, darling.

It's the skin
that keeps us in
without it would be sore

We'd go dry
and quickly die
and that would be a bore

Teapot Nonsense

Take a teapot
Short and stout
Blow though the nozzle
To get the bags out

Beginning of a new one

The scarecrow's sour, rotting grimace hung limp from its stick.

It's tattered arms scraped a path of wretchedness in the air as they flailed violently in the wind.

Water, tar-black, pooled in guttered soil.

Field-fronds of wheat watched wild birds slip, sinking into the closed, dark, density of cities with no souls.

And heavy poured the rain.

When Night Doesn't Fall

One upon a time there was a family who lived in a house by the woods. They were a happy family, Mum and Dad and the two kids, Johnny and Rosie.

One weekend, just like any other, when they had just finished their evening meal they decided to go back out into the garden for some fresh air, but there was something strange about the light in the sky. It wasn’t getting dark like it usually did in the evenings.

Dad looked at his watch. It had stopped. “That’s odd.” He said. He went back in the house to see the time on the clock in the hall. Mum and the kids waited a while for him but he didn’t come back out.

“I’ll just check that dad’s alright” Mum said and went inside too. Johnny and Rosie decided to play a game of chase and played for ages. The sun was still high in the sky. They didn’t notice, but they played for a long time and in the end they got so tired they fell asleep on the lawn.

Well, as everyone knows, at nighttime all the night animals come out. There are owls and bears and snakes and rats. All the animals decided they couldn’t wait any longer. They were hungry and tired of hiding behind trees in the forest so they crept slowly and carefully into the garden.

A snake was the first to see the sleeping children. “Oooo, I’m ssssssoooo lucky hissss” said the snake. It slithered across the grass until it was at Rosie’s toes and opened its mouth wide. It was just about to swallow her foot when something came crashing though the garden hedge.

A big brown bear leapt on the snake’s tail and tugged it off Rosie. The snake let out a great hiss of anger as the bear tossed it into a tree, but the bear wasn’t here to save the kids. “I’ll even have enough left for Mrs Bear when I’ve finished.” Said the bear to himself as he put his claws above the boy’s chest. But he froze still.

A witch was flying over the house and she had seen the bear over the boy. “Alacazam” shrieked the witch, pointing her wand at the bear. The bear immediately turned into a little sparrow and flew away in fear.

The witch landed as quietly as she could. She looked up at the sky with her black eyes and said, “Alright, alright, let it be night. ” Suddenly the garden plunged into darkness and the full moon shone high in the sky.

She carefully pulled Johnny and Rosie onto her broomstick and took off without a sound. When they were quite high Johnny woke up. “Wha… where… Rosie wake up, what’s going on?”

Rosie opened her eyes and screamed “A WITCH”. The witch croaked a toad-like croak, and said, “Well done, very observant of you.” And she laughed the most horrible laugh. “Put us down, put us down” Demanded Rosie.
“I’ll put you down… when we get to my cave.” Said the witch.

Soon they were gliding down through the trees at the other end of the forest. The witch went slowly so they could see her friends. There were slugs and bats and ugly looking creatures that neither of the kids had seen before. Finally they landed at the mouth of a cave. There was a fire burning inside with a big pot of boiling water on top.

“I’ll just add some salt.” Said the witch walking over to the pot, “Why don’t you get ready?”

“Get ready? What do you mean?” Asked Johnny.

“Take your clothes off of course.” Screamed the witch.

“We will not take our clothes off, no way, Rosie and I are going home right now.”

“Very well, I’ll do it for you.” Laughed the witch and said some magic.

“Stinky bandage, garden hose make them both lose all their clothes.”

Suddenly Johnny and Rosie were naked. It was cold. They had to think of something. Johnny noticed a big kitchen knife by the pot. He started moving slowly towards it. He said “That’s a big pot you’ve got, but you won’t be able to fit us both in it at the same time. Why not start with my sister, look at her – she’s smaller so she’ll cook fast.” Rosie couldn’t believe her ears.

“What are you saying? I thought we were friends.”

The witch laughed and said, “I need a boy like this, a good little evil boy to do my errands.” She went over to look at the girl to see if what Johnny was saying was true. Johnny saw his chance and jumped for the knife. Before the witch could see what was happening he ran at her and chopped her head off.

It looked like fireworks were going off as her head spun wildly up into the sky. It flew up and up and didn’t stop until there was a big bang like a rocket exploding and they knew the witch wasn’t going to be coming back.

“Wow, Johnny, how did you do that?” “How are we going to find our way back home?” They found their clothes and got dressed by the fire. They really were lost. How could they get back?

Then the moon spun around in the sky. “I can help you. You killed the witch, it’s the least I can do. She was the most horrible thing I ever saw.”

They looked up. The moon had a face! Big round eyes set into its white craters. “The trouble is I don’t know right from left. Just follow the direction of my eyes.”

Johnny and Rosie did, and though they had a few accidents, where the moon couldn’t see a pond in the way or a fallen tree, they finally got back home.

They went inside and mum and dad were still up. “Is it dark yet?” Mum asked.

“You won’t believe what happened to us.” Said Rosie. “A witch took us away to the other side of the forest. She was going to cook us, but Johnny killed her.”

“Don’t be daft. What on earth are you saying?”

Just then a little bird flew up to the window. It let out a tremendous roar like a bear. Mum screamed. “Off to bed now, both of you, I don’t know how you pulled that little trick but I didn’t like it one little bit.”

After Johnny and Rosie had brushed their teeth and mum put them in bed Johnny looked out of the window. The moon shone bright in the night sky and just as he turned to go to sleep it gave him a wink.

Dr Trickery

Once upon a time there was a boy called Johnny. He was a sweet boy who did everything he was told. He had nice friends that all went to his nice school. Today however, Johnny wasn't feeling too well when he woke up. The room was swirling around and he felt hot and cold at the same time. Mum came in to see why he hadn't come down to breakfast as he normally did.

As she opened the door to his bedroom he groaned.

"What's the matter darling?"

"I don't feel well mum" he answered. Mum bent down to take a look at him and she gasped. His eyes had turned green and red and were spinning around like bicycle wheels. She switched his bedside light on and found he had bright red spots all over his face.

"You stay right there, I'm calling the doctor" Mum said and rushed out of the room to the phone. "Doctor, hello doctor, I need an appointment for this morning, my son is looking extraordinarily unwell."

"I'm sorry" came the doctors voice down the phone line "But I am fully booked for the next two weeks, you'll have to try somewhere else."

Mum looked in the phone book and found another doctor. She called it and got the same response. She tried another, and another and finally one doctor said "Well, you could always try Dr Trickery, though he's a little strange."

By that point mum would try anything, poor little Johnny was looking very bad. She got the doctors number and called it. He picked up immediately. "Hello, Johnny is it? Please come to the end of your road and you'll see my surgery. Can't miss it."

How convenient thought mum, he's just down the end of the road. Why didn't I see him before? And how did he know Johnny's name?

Mum went back into Johnny's room. He'd got worse already. There were blue spots all over his tongue.

Mum wrapped him up in his bedsheet and took him down the road. At the bottom of their street was a very unusual car. It had big flashing letters on top saying "DOCTOR TRICKERY'S SURGERY" and not the usual number of doors a car has, but lots and lots of doors all over it. Mum didn't wait but knocked on the side of the car. A little door near the top of the car opened up and two beady eyes behind thick black rimmed spectacles peered out. "Johnny is it?" Said the man in the car.

"Yes" Said mum. The whole side of the car opened up like one big door. Inside was a huge white room with a sink and a table and a bed like they have in doctors surgeries. Come in, come in beckoned a strange little man to whom the eyes belonged. He had a huge handlebar moustache and a round pot belly sitting on top of two very short legs. A very unusual chap indeed.

"Let's have a look at you then" He swung a huge bright light around onto little Johnny and instantly diagnosed. "Ahh yes, it appears you have the symptoms of a bite from a bedbug."

"A bedbug?" Both Johnny and his mum repeated together.

"Yes, a bedbug. Now what you'll have to do is go back to your house and trap it and bring it back here so I can save your poor child. They're usually long green things like lizards, and they've got red eyes. With any luck it will still be in the boy's bed. Be careful you don't get bitten yourself". Mum was turning to go when the doctor said "Hold on, you'll need this - it's a special net for catching them." He handed her the net on the end of a long bamboo stick and they rushed back to the house.

Johnny was looking worse and worse. His ears had turned purple and swollen up to about twice their normal size and he had huge amounts of hair growing on his bottom. It looked like the hair of a girl at school called Sarah.

Mum crept quietly up the stairs making sure nothing slipped past her.

She opened the door to Johnny's bedroom as gently as she could and there on Johnny's pillow, just as the doctor described, a long green lizard-like creature, lying with it's hands behind it's head and looking wistfully out of the window.

Mum go the net ready and snuck up on it. She was almost within reach when she slipped on one of Johnny's toy cars. The bedbug jumped up and was about to scurry into hiding when mum whipped it up in the net in one deft move.

The strange creature wriggled and cried but it couldn't get free.

Grabbing poor, suffering Johnny by his arm they dashed out of the house and down the road to the doctor's strange car.

He was outside waiting for them and ushered them in as soon as they got close.

"Quick, pass me the net." Said Doctor Trickery. He slipped the slippery thing out of the net and into a jar and began talking to it. "I'll give you three chances to give me a true answer, and we can fix this boy."

"Were you in the boy's bed this morning?"

The animal shook his head and said in a quiet little voice "No."

"LIAR" The doctor screamed and put a fly in the jar with the bedbug. The bedbug hated the buzzing around of the fly and when the fly landed on the bedbug's nose the bedbug let out a little scream of desperation. The doctor took the fly out and asked a second question. "Did you bite poor little Johnny?"

"Oh, not me, no, no, wasn't me doctor." Said the bedbug.

"LIAR" the doctor shouted and he filled the jar half full with cold water. The bedbug was shivering and turned blue. "One more lie and I'll fill this jar to the top. Did you bite little Johnny on the bum?"

The bedbug gave up pretending. "Yes."

"Well, you had better kiss it better then." And he let the bedbug out of the jar. It scampered across the floor and straight up Johnny's pyjama leg. They all heard a big kiss and then the lizard plopped back on the floor and hid in the corner.

Immediately Johnny's ears shrank back down to size, his spots all cleared up and he could see normally again.

"WOW" said Johnny. "I'm OK again mum."

"Thank goodness said mum, unable to believe her eyes.

"There'll be a small matter of payment to discuss." Said Doctor Trickery. "I can't do this for free you must understand." And he whispered in mum's ear.

"How much?" Asked mum, her eyes bulging with shock. "Well, I suppose you did save my boy when no one else was around. I'll have to write you a cheque."

When mum and Johnny turned and went back to the house, Doctor Trickery turned and winked at the bedbug who was now sitting on his own pillow next to the driver's seat. The Doctor's phone rang, "Please, he's got spots all over his face and his eyes are looking most unusual." The car closed it's doors and the doctor sped away.

Pirate's woes

It's 14.00 hours here and time for me to have my lunch, the captain chortled to his merry crew before he heard the crunch, of earsplitting firepower as rockets overhead, bombarded his big galleon and rattled in his head. Bang and bang and Blaggerstaff he exclaimed with deeply crease-ed brow, I think they've hit my floating craft, oh what do we do now?

Queen of the Underworld's Ring

Adrian was a happy boy, he loved his mummy and daddy, and everything was great...

... at the weekends.

But this was a school day. As usual there was the rushed morning, dad had gone to work, mum had some appointments and Adrian had spent too long getting out of bed so had to rush his breakfast which he hated. In just enough time he had got out of the door with his laces tied and his schoolbag on his back.

But walking down the road to school he saw the most unusual thing. There was a large hole in the middle of the pavement. No one was around. He peered in. There were a set of steps. Adrian paused. "Do I want to go to school, or do I want an adventure?" he thought.

On his way down the steps it became darker and darker, but it was warm enough and who knew what he might find. If he didn't like what he found he could always come back up and go to school late if at all.

Soon he found himself at the bottom of the steps and by a river. Out of the darkness a boat pulled up. A wrinkly old man in a naval costume was in it with an oar in each hand.

"Phew, you took yer time din' yer?... you gettin' in then?"

"Huh? Me?"

"Of Course, who else?" Then the old man seemed to have second thoughts. "You are Adrian aren't you?"

"I am, but how did you know"

"Just hop in, we're late." Said the old man looking impatient.

Adrian climbed into the boat and they set off down some strange old underground waterway system.

"So have you got it then?" Asked the old man.

"Got what?" asked Adrian.

"It must be in your bag" said the old man, heaving away desperately at the oars. They were clearly very late for something.

"I've only got school books in there." Said Adrian. He didn't need to look to know that.

"But you haven't even checked" Said the old man with a look of desperation. He had beads of sweat on his brow from rowing so fast.

Adrian opened his bag. He couldn't believe his eyes. Inside there weren't any books as he's thought, there wasn't anything in there except for a beautiful, gold crown. He half pulled it out, not knowing what was happening, here he was, under the ground on a river in a boat with a strange old sailor and he had a crown in his schoolbag.

"Well put it on then, we're nearly there." said the old man.

Adrian was very confused. He put the crown on his head and it felt very comfortable, just right for his head. Just then He could see a shoreline. On the bank people had lit great fires. People seemed to be dancing and setting off fireworks.

Before long they could see that there was a big celebration in progress. Loud, happy music, cheering people, bright lights, and announcements.

When they finally pulled up to the bank a big sign came into view. "WELCOME BACK KING ADRIAN"

This little boy in the boat was speechless, but when everyone saw him and his crown on his head, they let out great cheers "It's true, look here he comes. King Adrian has come back." And they danced around sand sang at the top of their voices in the most excited and happy way.

The boat pulled up to a red velvet mooring with a stairway lined with bowing courtiers. Adrian found his feet and, ushered by the boatman got up onto the steps. More fireworks went off and as he looked to the top of the stairs he saw the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She was dressed very well and was holding a silver plate with something on it.

Adrian dutifully climbed the stairs towards her. She seemed familiar to him in some way but he couldn't think how.

"Dear King, we are so happy you are here again. Please accept this as my personal welcome back." She held out the silver plate. On it he now saw was a ring. A beautiful, shining ring studded with jewels. Adrian picked it up. It was beautiful. He couldn't resist to slide it on to his finger. The crowd roared. He could see that this woman was holding back some tears.

"She's the Queen, You're meant to kiss her." Said the man who had brought him on the boat.

Adrian was just a schoolboy. Kiss her he thought. What would my friends say? I don't want to kiss her. But everyone was looking on, and he could see that it was expected. He kissed her and thought "YUCK", but everyone let out a big cheer.

They all went up the rest of the steps together and he could see a castle on top of the hill.

Outside the soldiers had been waiting. When Adrian arrived they blew a trumpet and all the royal guards saluted him. "Shall we go in?" Asked the Queen. "I had kitchen prepare your favourite dish, Fish Fingers and Mash."

Adrian was keen for a break in interest from himself and thought the food might provide a distraction so he agreed that that was a great idea (even though he had only just finished breakfast).

After about 15 toasts to welcome him they all sat down to a banquet of very good fish fingers and mash. By now Adrian was thinking this was all too much and he would like to have just gone to school instead, but it just kept going on and plate after plate of his favourite dish was presented to him until it all became too much.

"I need to pee" Said Adrian. Rather too loudly for everyone in the room stopped their chatter and looked up. "Where's the toilet?" he tried to ask more quietly, though now all the attention was on him.

"But you are the King, if it so pleases you you can pee where you like, ha ha ha"One of the members in the room answered. He was joking, so full of joy was he that King Adrian had returned, that he lost his sense of royal respect.

Adrian, didn't realise this man was joking and so turned to a corner wall and let out a great splash of pee.

Everyone was surprised, but thought the king had set a new trend an so they all peed in the great dining room. It was only then that Adrian saw the sign for the toilet and felt extremely embarrassed.

He wanted to go home. Or to school. Even school was better than this.

Then he had an idea.

"What has happened to my Royal plane?"

Everyone wondered what he was talking about. "Royal plane your majesty?" Asked one of the men nearest him.

"Yes, I ordered it to be built for my return, so where is it?" Said Adrian.

"Oh, your majesty, um..." the man looked around. No one knew what Adrian was talking about. Then man said quickly - "We didn't think you'd be back so soon. It's not ready yet."

"So, how long until it's ready then?" Asked Adrian.

The queen liked the King's new authority so she chimed in "You mustn't upset my King, he's very tired"

"Oh, we can have it ready for you after your Royal siesta."

"Very good. I'm going to bed now. I'll be up in an hour OK?"

"Yes your Majesty" they all bowed and let him go away to bed.

The Queen led him there and he fell into a wonderful sleep.

When he awoke there were people standing all around him. "It's been an hour your Majesty. Your plane is waiting for you."

"Great" Said Adrian. "Where is it?" And they let him get dressed and took him out to a hill where stood the most beautiful airplane.

"OK, help me in." He said. He got in. He turned the key and the engine let out a great rumble. He looked around him at all the faces and then pulled on the accelerator.

The plane started moving forwards. The crowd didn't know what to think. Was he just trying the engine or was he going to fly? One last look around and then Adrian pulled up. The plane shot into the sky. He looked down. All the faces got smaller and smaller until it was like just looking at ants. He looked to the sky and through the clouds he could see what looked like a large hole.

He flew towards it.

He shot through it.

The next thing he knew he was falling to his feet with his schoolbag on his back. He realised he was just outside the school gates. His best friends Mark and John were calling him over. "Come on, Adrian, we're gonna be late."

Adrian rand to catch up with them and headed into school.

At his desk he looked in his bag. There was no crown in there, only his books and pencil case.

Had it all been a dream?

But then he noticed that on his finger he still had the ring. It had all been real after all.

Can't Get Down

I am aware this Monday morn
will find you on the telephone

Working hard to earn a crust
In the world of cut and thrust

But spare a thought for winkle me
Sat all alone up in this tree

Yes, I'm not playing but I'm stuck
What started fun became bad luck

A pretty shade of simple kid
Got trapped up oak is what I did