Muffler

The sun poured through the open window, spilt onto the classroom floor and cast a golden glow on the graffiti-ridden desks. It was somehow in harmony with the smell of crayons and old orange peel that filled the room. All the kids were in a mesmeric daze. Almost all. Ben had been sitting at the back with his with his hand in the air for what felt like an eternity. It seemed he had something very important to say. The teacher, Mr Blacker, or 'Muffler' as his pupils referred to him, due to the way he waffled through his beard, hunched his back to the class as he scribbled something on the blackboard.

The field outside was being cut by a large lawnmower. When it passed by it was so noisy that it shook the panes in the open windows.

Mr Blacker turned around and finally noticed Ben with his hand up. "Yes, Ben?"

"Please can I go to the toilet?"

Everyone laughed. Everyone except Mr Blacker. Mr Blacker hated laughter. He looked furious. His little bluebottle eyes in stark contrast to his bright, red face. He looked like he was going to burst.

With all the restraint he could muster he spoke. "I thought you were going to answer my question. Perhaps you could try before I let you go."

Ben hadn't heard Muffler's question over the din of the mower and his more personal distraction, but there was no time to explain all this. He decided to take a wild guess.

In a little voice he chanced "I think the answer is Seventy Three.".

The whole class roared with laughter.

"SILENCE" Mr Blacker barked. "For the last hour we have been studying the English language not Mathematics. For your particularly stupid answer I'm going to give you triple homework. If anyone else so much as titters, they too will suffer the same fate."

The class fell into terrified hush.

Mr Blacker let Ben go.

With the school day over, Ben wondered slowly home, his head heavy with thoughts and his schoolbag filled with extra homework. Ben usually loved coming home. The smells of cooking, the big, old rooms, even seeing his dad's old boots by the back door made him happy. And mum, reassuring mum with her contented songs as she carefully got everything done. He got to the front door and sat on the steps between the plant pots. "Come on darling, it can't be that bad?" Ben's mum was leaning out of the window with a glass of juice for him. "I just got triple homework to be done for tomorrow." Ben's mum frowned. "Oh dear. You'd better come in and have your dinner early tonight to give you time."

After he did all his homework he felt exhausted. He could barely brush his teeth. He went to bed and as soon as he closed his eyes he was asleep.

In the middle of the night Ben woke up. His mouth was dry and he wanted a drink. He dropped out of bed, still half-dreaming and walked to the stairs. Then the strangest thing happened. He had stepped off the top step and walked into the air. He hadn't gone down. He had actually walked into the air. He appeared to be floating. He got scared and jumped back onto the top stair. Then he tried to walk down the stairs again, but he couldn't. He just walked in a straight line into the air. "Weird" he thought, and stood for a while, floating. "But I want to go downstairs" he said to himself, and immediately, as if he was on an escalator he glided smoothly down to the kitchen. "What's going on?" he asked, but no one was there to answer. "I want a glass of milk." He said, and here came towards him a glass of milk. "What is this? What's happening?" He thought, but he tasted the milk. It tasted good, like milk should taste. OK, he decided, if this is the way it is, I'm going to have some fun.

"I want to go outside." The door opened and he flew into the street. He realised then that he was still in his pyjamas, but it was a warm night and no one was about. "I want to go to school." As soon as he had said it he wondered why he had, but it was too late to change his mind and off he floated down the leafy streets, up over the houses and across two fields. There it was. School. All locked up and nobody about. Then Ben had an idea.

"I want to go to my classroom." A window slowly opened and he flew inside. "Right, now to set the record straight." he said to himself, but things were already happening as quickly as he could think them. The chalk was writing on the blackboard. An old, brown banana flew past him and into the shadows and then an envelope slipped through the window and landed on the teachers desk.

"I'm tired now, I want to go back to bed." Yawned Ben and instantly he was gliding back to his house and his warm duvet.

In the morning Ben felt very refreshed and full of energy. He bounced down stairs, and kissed mum and dad good morning. "Hello soldier!" Said dad. "Good morning darling." said mum. Everything seemed so normal, Ben wasn't floating around, nothing unusual was going on and he decided that last night must have been an extraordinary dream. After getting ready and putting all his homework in his bag he went off to school, walking down the streets and over the fields.

As soon as he entered his classroom he realised something odd was going on. All the kids were looking at the blackboard and laughing. Somebody had written in large writing "MUFFLER IS A NAUGHTY BOY!". Then Mr Blacker walked in.

"What's all this? Sit down at your desks this instant." And he went to the blackboard. "What is the meaning of this? Who wrote this here?" But no one answered, they all looked around, wondering who it could have been. Mr Blacker wiped the board clean and announced. "When I find out who did this they will be punished severely." Then he went to his desk and saw an envelope sitting there with his name on it. He opened it. Inside was one of his old school reports. On it was written "Timmy Blacker has a long way to go. He is always dreaming in class and still can't count up to 20."

Muffler had tears in his eyes. Someone had discovered his terrible secret. He was never very good at school. He slumped down in his chair and there was a horrible squelching sound. He jumped up as if he had just sat on a needle and there dripping off his behind was a squashed, rotten, brown banana.

Muffler ran out of the classroom screaming. And soon the headmaster came in. He said that Mr Blacker wouldn't be back for a while, perhaps a long while. The class would have to take the day off whilst they found a replacement.

The whole class cheered and ran out out into the sunshine.